Consquences

Do we really think of the consequences? We have all heard it said "For every action there is a greater or equal reaction". The bible says it this way "what a man reaps so shall he sow". Another one is "what goes around comes around". In our live there are consequences for our actions and we need to be able to live with these consequences. But do we really think this way? What will happen if I do this or that? Or is it more like can I get away with this or that. Whether we want to believe it or not even when you get away with something it still affects you. It will always be there in the back of your mind. I believe if more people though about the consequences many mistakes in marriage could be avoided. Lets take a step back today and ask ourselves that question : What are the consequences for my actions going to be? Can you live with the decision you made? If so, what kind of life is that going to be. Remember even when you feel like you've gotten away with something one person will always know the wrong you did and that's the person you look at in the mirror.

Separation Anxiety

From my last blog you can see how I feel about "Infidelity" but I have a better understanding of it. I still vehemently believe in the sanctity of marriage I see how one can get caught up in the web of infidelity. As emotional beings we were made for relationships and when the most important one is under stress we look for escape. This is why marriage takes work, it takes an enormous amount of efforts on both husband and wife that they affair proof their marriage. Both spouses need to ensure that the needs of the other is being met. I believe this is amplified for those of us in the military. There are not many jobs in the world where one can be separated from their spouse for a year or more. So keeping connected takes serious effort. Affairs happen when that connection starts to fade and "Separation Anxiety" kicks in. This is when we try to find someone to fill that void. Here is where many people give in and cross the line between fidelity and infedility. As I see it, it is not always an overt act but can be very subtle. And that subtly causes people to get in over there heads and before they know it, they blew it. Is there a full proof way to to prevent this??? I don't know, I used to think that people who cheated were weak but I know believe that it can happen to anyone and that no one is immune from it. I encourage you all of you to fight hard for you marriage. It will be hard but it will be worth it!!!

91 Days from Home

Like the title states its been 91 days since I have been home and we have no idea when we are going to get back. This is just not natural, we are not meant to be away from our loved ones for that amount of time. Just being where I'm at makes it hard and the uncertainty that surrounds us. I don't think people can really understand what it's like until they have to do it. It is not natural for a husband to be away from his wife for a year. I understand that this is part of being in the military but really a whole year!!! They wonder why the divorce rate is so high for those in the military. I can honestly say that I have never crossed the line in my marriage but in my 16 years I have seen many married members, male and female cross that line. I ask myself how and why. I kind understand it somewhat but in the same sense I don't know how they can act like it never happened and go on with there lives. You have to look your spouse in the eyes when you get home and then what. The temptation is there and being separated makes it very easy but at what price. Is it worth the cost of losing your marriage? I say no. What has happened to "till death do us part" is it just a thing of the past? Marriage takes work and committment without that it loses its meaning. Lets get back to the importance of fidelity!!! That's right FIDELITY, this should go hand in hand in marriage. If you can't agree than don't get married!!!

Get Out of The Bucket

Those words changed my life. Eight years ago I was going through a difficult time. A relationship was ending and I found myself wallowing in depression and self pity. Nothing and no one seemed to be helping. It was affecting my job and it could have had long term effects. One day my Commanding Officer called me into his office and told me those words "Get out of the bucket". He used some other colorful language as well but those five words kept going through my head. Being stuck in a bucket means you are heading no where, no where fast. He was telling me to live, to take a step out of the bucket and start living again. Though that road hasn't always been smooth at least I am on it. I'm out of the bucket and living. For those of you out there that are stuck in that bucket I encourage you take a chance, start living again. Eventually the hurt will go away, the dissappointment will fade and a new day will begin. Let's learn from one another and live each day, really live because life is too short to not enjoy and live every moment.